Dick's Guide to Police beating up people with their flashlights
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Two white police officers were fired for kicking and beating up an 18-year-old black man. They used their flashlights for the beating and then tried to cover it up. The city Police Board agreed. The board found Officers Matthew Thiel and James Comito Jr. guilty Thursday on administrative charges of using excessive force while arresting Jeremiah Mearday on Sept. 26 and lying about how his jaw was broken and his head bloodied. (Police officers lie? Did you know that?) The officers' version of events ``is simply unbelievable,'' board President Demetrius E. Carney said at a brief news conference following the board's 6-3 decision. Mearday was walking with friends (very, very suspicious) when the officers ordered the group to stop, believing one of them was wanted on an arrest warrant (all these black guys look the same to me). The officers testified that Mearday continued walking, but Mearday said he immediately dropped to his knees. Thiel pointed his gun at Mearday, testifying that he could not see Mearday's hands and thought he might have a gun. (don't walk down the streets here carrying a banana -- you'll be dead!) The officers claim Mearday shoved and punched them as they tried to arrest him. The board said, even if that happened, ``there was simply nothing about Mearday's actions that evening which justified the egregiously violent conduct of Thiel and Comito.'' The board also noted that the officers' testimony included statements they did not make in their police reports, including that Thiel was on Mearday's back when he fell and that Comito struck Mearday on the head twice with his nightstick. Paul D. Geiger, the lawyer for the officers, called the finding ``a radically slanted recitation of what happened.'' (Question: Is Paul Geiger another truthful lawyer like -- let's say -- Bill Clinton?) Geiger said he would appeal the finding to a circuit judge. In fact, if he's paid enough he might take it all the way to the Supreme Court. The officers had been suspended without pay. No criminal charges have been filed against them, since it's no crime for policemen to beat the %&&^%$## out of people. It's the American way!
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